Thoughts for Wednesday

I read quite a few blogs-blogs about families, fashion, inspiration, life, etc. I love reading blogs, well just about anything really, because reading allows me to gain a new perspective about life. I found the following images on the blog Marc and Angel Hack Life. (All image sources can also be found next to the images throughout the blog.) This blog is a must read for anyone who is going through life, which is every single one of us :)

So anyways, these four questions in particular got me thinking today. 

I believe that one thing I should be able to say about myself is that I put 110% effort into every thing that I do. Whether it's relationships, school, my pets, my job, I truly take the time to make sure that it's not all in vain.

I think this is a really valid question. Sometimes it's so easy to get caught up in the monotony of life. Wake up, get ready for the day, complete our tasks (staying at home to work, going off to work) go home, eat dinner, go to sleep. Repeat. Sure, there's a little more in there such as eating, socializing, etc. But these actions done day in and day out really make the days go by fast. So what has changed in my life in the past year? For one, I'm about to graduate from college. I'm even more uncertain about my future-such as living arrangements and who's willing to stand by me during this transition. I can say that thanks to teaching high school students, working with and around politicians over the past year I have a pretty strong backbone. That's right, there is no more pushing this little lady around ever, EVER, again. Yup, that goes for everyone. Oh, and I've also lost approximately 10 pounds over the last year. That makes for a total of about 35-40 pounds.

Great question! One easy way to waste a life is to live in the past. Oh, can I add one more please?! Thanks. Another very easy way to waste a life is to make an excuse for every single thing that you are not willing to work for. Stop being a damn pessimist.

This is why I love blogging. I honestly can't remember what my life was "like" 10 years ago, but I will definitely remember my life if asked this same question in 10 years thanks to my blog!

At this moment 10 years ago, I had just turned 18 years old. I was preparing to compete in my first pageant (Miss Choctaw, don't ask. It was my least favorite pageant ever-even only to the Miss Chaney Lake/Sedgwick County pageant!), preparing to attend my senior prom, preparing to graduate high school, and unbeknownst to me on April 18th, 2002, I had only 32 more days left with one of the better people I've known in my life. There is just no way in the world I could have imagined my friend being laid to rest in the ground within the next month. I still think about my dear friend everyday, as I have for the past 10 years of my life. At this time 10 years ago I was just ready to get the heck outta dodge and never look back. Whew...thankfully I did. 10 years ago, I never could had imagined how amazing things would work out. So, thank you, God :)

Lazy Sunday

Next Thursday is my last day as a student teacher! Wahoo. I can't believe it's really almost over. I remember getting my school/teacher placement in December-and it feels like just yesterday. I remember meeting my teaching in December-it feels like yesterday. I remember my first day in class-it feels like yesterday. I remember my first day teaching-it feels like yesterday. I'm sure you get my drift. I'm going to be pretty sad on my last day. Some of my students have really touched my heart with their stories and personalities. I really want them all to do well and be successful in their lives. When they found out my last day is 2 days before their prom, they were like "oh no you're going to miss prom". They don't know yet that I will give them my facebook name if they want to add me-that way I can keep in touch and see their prom pics. I remember my proms. I didn't go to my junior prom, for a lot of reasons. But I did go with my cousin's best friend to their school prom. We showed up late and I stayed up way too late. I had just started an after school job that I was supposed to work the next day at 8am, or something super early. I went to my senior prom, but by that point in the year I was just ready to get the heck out of dodge and didn't have too much fun at all. I went with my best friend, Cara, who went to a different school.
Here's a pic with my friends Zach and Cara. Zach passed away a little less than a month after this pic. About 5 years ago I had the picture out for whatever reason and somehow spilled liquid on it. I need to have a copy of it made though. There are so many other pics I have with him that are lost on film rolls, etc, that I wish I had.



I can't believe that in 27 days I will be walking across the stage to recieve my degree. I am so proud of myself for accomplishing this. I have known for the past 4 years exactly what I wanted to do and I did it. I never really had too many people in my life who believed in me academically. I never really had too many people believe that I would be successful. I saw the way some of my teachers and coaches would look at me or act around me. I think they are who drove me to become a teacher. I never want any of my students to feel like I don't believe in them. I want to inspire my students, not turn my back on them. At the end of the day, regardless of what a student has said to me or their peers, regardless of whether they recieved in-school suspension from another teacher, regardless of whether I have to sign papers for them to turn in to their probation officer, REGARDLESS I will always remember that I am dealing with kids. Yes, kids who don't yet know what life has in store for them. Kids who may not know how to act appropriately. Kids who may not have drive. Kids who may or may not always be respectful to me and/or their peers. Kids who may not be the "best". I've never been the "best". I've learned there is always someone better. I've done a lot to be proud of and I've done a lot to not be so proud of. All of this has made me who I am. All of this has pushed me to be exactly where I am today. I picked up my cap and gown yesterday, and got a little teary eyed.

 I funded part of my education through the Miss America Organization. Even now I look back at that part of my life and it feels absolutely surreal!  

Competing in Miss Shawnee (Oklahoma), November 2004.

I mailed off the rest of my graduation invitations today. Don't worry, if you're reading this and I love you dearly you will be getting a facebook invite very soon. I just didn't have time to print off dozens of invites so I apolize in advance for the digital invitation.

This Life, That Life...and A Championship?!

What a weekend! I don't know if you've heard but, THE JAYHAWKS ARE PLAYING FOR A NATIONAL TITLE TOMORROW! There, now you've heard because I just screamed it at you. It's so funny that I get so into KU basketball. About a month before I moved to Lawrence my brother told me I would be a huge fan because they were great! I thought, no way. I'm sooner born, sooner bred. Well, he was right. I mean, I am still sooner born and I love my Sooners-even when they play against KU in anything. But, having lived in Lawrence for 4 years and waited on Danny Manning, Bill Self, and Kurtis Townsend when I waited tables-how could I not be a fan. I remember watching the championship game in 2008 against Memphis and with about 5 minutes left in the game and the Jayhawks trailing, everyone around us was silent. By the 2-minute mark there was a glimmer of hope. I can still remember Chalmers' 3 point shot-CHILLS.
Lawrence was good to me. Yes, there were plenty of bad times, actually more than plenty. But I loved the town. I was so naive when I moved there. I had no friends when I moved there. Actually, I knew one person when I moved there. ONE. To say that I grew when I lived in Lawrence would be an understatement. But Lawrence is also a place many people outgrow at some point. It sure is a lovely town and I can't remember a moment that I felt unsafe when I lived there. This includes walking around at 2am.

Last night I met with some of my friends to watch the game. We all lived in Lawrence during the highlight of our crazy days! Days that I will always love so so much!

It was interesting to talk and hang out. When my relationship is not going great I always look at other peoples, my friends, and think why can't I have a perfect relationship like so and so. Well, I really do know that everyone has their issues. It's easy to know that about individuals, but for some reason I've always believed that there are perfect couples. People may look at Eric and I and think we're perfect. I've had so many people-sometimes random-lean over to me when we're together and ask when we're getting married. Relationships with the people we love are so so so fragile.

So anyways, when KU gets to the elite eight and make their way to the final four, massive crowds head to 'Mass St.'-short for Massachusette's street-and the band comes down, etc. It is sooo much fun. I relived '08 last night. Today, my throat was so scratchy from screaming. I have class tomorrow night and I'm trying to figure out how to get out of going and head back to Lawrence :)

I apologize for all the blur!

ROCK CHALK JAYHAWK GO KU!