Going Back to College

 As the title says, Eric and I went back to our alma mater, Washburn University, on Saturday. Eric played football in college so we went to watch the football team's senior day. I didn't exactly love Topeka when we lived there, but it isn't the worst place for someone to live. I have so many amazing memories there. I feel like Topeka is where I finally felt free, confident, and comfortable. I don't want to move back, but I've had to go back a few times since we moved since Max's vet is there. I've driven around to a few sentimental places each time. When I enrolled in Washburn, I had no intention of finding someone new to date, etc., but things did work out rather well. Now I think it's so much fun that Eric and I graduated from the same university. It makes going back just a little better :) The football team unfortunately lost to Emporia State, a huge rival, so Eric was kind of upset while watching the game. We hung out in Topeka all night, and ended up sleeping there because we had too much "fun", haha. I really did enjoy being back on campus! On our drive back this morning we stopped by Perkins and got blueberry muffins-those things are HEAVEN. Also, while leaving town, we drove past a newly established Panda Express, right down the street from where we lived. Argh! I love that place. Thankfully I'm surrounded by them now, but I had to laugh at the irony of it!

Bell tower on campus

Crazy statue that scared me everytime I walked past it!

Carnagie Hall-school of education :))

Jogging path

It was seriously so nice when we got to Topeka, halfway through the game it got cold

Max playing in leaves

Oh yeah, on Tuesday I voted

My very first school picture as a teacher!

Endocrinologist just SOUNDS scary

Endocrinologist...the name somehow reminds me of an insect. In a few weeks the name will mean just a little bit more to me. For those that know me personally, you may know that 2 1/2 years ago I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Having this means that almost ANYTHING s can scare me at any time of day, or night. It's something I have learned to deal with and don't even take medicine for it anymore. Although there are definitely periods of my life where I should take them no matter what. I stress out easily. Both of these things I have attributed to my adult acne. Say huh??!! Yes, I am struggling with adult acne. Blerg. It usually comes and goes, but it has literally stuck around since January. There are times when its gotten better but not too much better. I finally decided to make a dermatologist appointment, because my face looks worse than my students. Warning: if you've never seen me without makeup you should stop reading now, cause things are about to get personal. The derm listens as I tell her about abnormal hair growth (SERIOUS YUCK!), bumps all over my arms, chest, back...ugh, YUCK, and all of the other issues I'm having. She immediately gives me some Retin a micro and orders blood test. The Retin a has been wonderful and my face looks better than it has in years. The blood test, ummm I'm really note a fan of needles, the word "vein", or seeing blood. I know, big baby. I'm telling you, the office I wentl to for bloodwork was peaceful, I cried as soon as I sat down in the chair I started crying. Not because I was in pain, but because I hate blood. The situation also slightly reminded me of what I went through in late 2007/early 2008. All of my hormones were tested and I got my results Friday. My testosterone is way too high, my dhea sulfate is way too high, and my thyroid hormone is way too high. The doctor told me I need to make an appointment with an endo or gyno. Whaa?? I of course Google what all of this means and 1) I can very possibly have PCOS 2) I'm temporarily infertile (thanks body, what did I ever do to you??!!) 3) my thyroid is messing up everything 4) all of the above. I really have never though anything was/is wrong with me. But I haven't really felt normal in a few years. I am always tired, even when I get enough sleep. I am really looking forward to getting answers soon. I just know that everything is in God's hands, so prayers are welcome!

A Little Dog With A Big Heart

Literally. It makes me feel sick to my soul to think about writing this. Max has an enlarged heart. He was diagnosed with a mid-grade heart murmur in April 2010 and he has done fairly well. Don't get me wrong, he is still doing well, he is active, plays, eats, gets annoyed, but we had his checkup yesterday. His appointment was delayed a few months due to finances/graduating. A heart murmur is when either the left or right valve of the heart pumps out irregularly. We caught the murmur by accident. In late February 2010 I took him to a new vet in Topeka because he wasn't feeling well. Everything was normal. In the middle , if April we were at petsmart looking for allergy medicine and the vet techs offered to look him over for free. The moment she listened to Max's heart she knew it didn't sound right. They tested him for heartworms to see if that was why his heartbeat was irregular. That test came back negative. I made an appointment with the first vet we had seen and two weeks later we were having xrays done to see what was wrong and what needed to be done. The vet determined Max had a grade 3/4 heart murmur out of grade 6. He has been on heart medicine since. He has taken it on/off for multiple reasons-the first being my negligance, unfortunatly. Each year since, Max has an xray done to measure his heart, check for any fluids in his lungs, etc. The amazing news is that there is no fluid. The sad news is that his heart has grown a little, and is now pushing on his trachea, not a lot but enoughe that his trachea isn't straight anymore. I pushed that information out of my mind for the first couple of hours after the appointment. Then it hit me, ONE DAY I WILL HAVE TO SAY GOODBYE TO HIM. It might be in one year, it could be in five. If we are lucky...only if we are very lucky. How do I handle that? I know everything dies, that's a part of life. And I trust that means u will be with my loved ones for eternity. Does that include Max? I pray it does. I know he is okay right now. His vet, who I trust, has not put a time on Max, but I know that day will come. Max will be 8 in December. God, how I wish we could get another 8 years. I have had Max since I was 20. He was 5 weeks old. We are inseperable. I got him the day before I moved to Kansas. He was with me during my transition. He was with me when I decided to move back to Kansas after a breakup. He was my only friend in Lawrence for around 8 months. He was my shopping buddy. When I wanted to go eat somewhere we would sit on the patio together and eat. When I had nothing to do we would go on hour long walks. When I cried over heartache, Max was always there. He has been my constant road trip partner when I travel alone. My heart broke into a million pieces this past summer when he escaped from my patio and was gone for over an hour. The lady I spoke to at the humane society couldn't understand a word I said through my tears. A lot of people say dogs are "just a dog", but Max is my best friend. He could be the only "child" I will ever have. When Eric left for witchita last spring I was sooo sad. I grabbed Max to go get ice cream. I just don't go too many places without him. Work and the grocery store are the only places he doesn't go. And I would take him to work with me everyday if I could. Max is my family. I give him the best life he can have. For now, Max gets no more scraps and as little sodium as possible. He eats Nutro Ultra small breed dog food, which is a great brand I think. But we have to change treats and canned food. I've also discovered that crushing his pills completely and sprinkling it on his canned food is the best way for him to take his meds. div>

Five...

Confession: I have not really blogged in a few months. It feels good to take a break because I have been so busy, but I'm ready to start back soon. Confession: I'm starting to wonder about my future and career. I guess teaching isn't really what I thought it was before this year. I'm still finding my way, and I'm still not too stressed, but it's just a different feeling than I thought it was. Confession: I really, like, REALLY, want to buy a Kate Spade watch.I am obsessed!I've put some pics up of the ones I really want, so it may just be an early Christmas present to myself. I'm in love :)

Confession: I'm awful with budgeting. Just. Aweful. Confession: I am getting really excited about visiting New England next summer! I'm planning on going to Ipswich, Massachusetts to visit the Crane Mansion!

The mansion is featured in one of my favorite movies, Flowers in the Attic. I have loved the movie since I was little. So this really is a dream come true! Also, I've never been to the beach before and as you can see in the pictures, I will also be close to the beach!

Those summer nights

Word, blog land. I can't believe summer is winding down. I've definitely been enjoying this summer and not having to write papers, etc. but I'm sure there is some lesson planning to get done! Next Friday is when my job begins. So. Surreal. Are the two words that come to mind!!! And, well, we still haven't found a legit place to stay. No worries, we're checking on a place tomorrow! The hard part is finding a nice place that we can be in by next Friday. O vey. I've still been running every other day, sometimes I have to skip a day. I do one mile comfortably and by comfortably I really mean uncomfortable and ready to quit. I get side cramps, a dry mouth, etc. It's just not fun. I've been doing this for two months and I would think this would be a little easier. Don't get me wrong, its definitely easier than the first two weeks, just not easy yet. I would eventually like to do 3 mile runs, but its not looking to be in the very near future :( I got some new running gear yesterday to keep up the motivation. I got a handheld water bottle, with velcro straps to keep the bottle in place, but I felt like water was just splashing out while I ran, which led to me pouring out half the bottle. This is a smaller bottle which means I was left with very little water, and towards the end of my run I was waterless, which defeated the purpose. If you need any motivation at all I suggest you head on over to Mama Laughlin's blog and check out her weightloss. ROLE. MODEL. here's my progress so far:

The top picture progress is from left to right, beginning the last week of May. The bottom picture:left taken Thursday, right beginning. I still have a ways to go but not bad progress. I'm also sending lots of thoughts and prayers to the people of Aurora, Colorado. It really fire home, as a lot of us go to the movies and many of the deceased are close to me in age. Prayers to those who were courageous enough to stay behind and help the wounded. Prayers th those who are hurting or lost a lived one. Our God is still a merciful God.

I.Am.Bored

It's really funny to think about when your life is crazy hectic and all you want is a break-even if it's only a five minute break. Right now, I'm going on week four of my "break". I am really bored. I know, first world problems. I tutored on campus for two weeks, up through finals week, which kept me somewhat busy. Then planning for graduation and enjoying the moment also kept me busy. Seriously, as soon as graduation was over and everyone left I got really sad. I couldn't believe it was all over so...fast?. Then I missed my family. When Eric went back to work and I was just home with Max, I was sooo anxious because I haven't had nothing to do in a very long time. The past three years of my life has been go.go.go. Anyways, it was just a lot of emotions and thoughts. Then I started talking to people, teachers, and realized that it is okay to have nothing to do over the summer. But my anxiousness comes from the fact that I need a summer job for the next two months.

I did get to see my classroom last week! I was pretty freaking excited. I also met the teacher who will be across the hall from me and the teacher who will be next door to me. Everyone seems really nice, which makes me excited and at least a little bit more comfortable about this big transition about to take place in my life.

So the past two weeks of my life have been pretty null. I have enjoyed relaxing and I've also taken on the challenge of getting back into "pageant shape". No, unfortunately I am not competing again, as I've aged out and no I will never do a "Mrs." pageant-different topic I might tackle one day. I'm just ready to feel 100% again. I've been taking my multi-vitamins all week, let's see how long this lasts because I'm horrible at taking pills, and I've cut out soda! I didn't/don't drink a lot of soda-maybe 4 or 5 a week, and even that is still pretty high- and I've tried to cut out lots of processed food. Sometimes I just want to scream to the weight gods "give me a break. I'm a vegetarian and already have a lot of foods missing from my diet", but I want to be pure health. So this summer is what I'm calling operation: beast mode. I don't really care what size I am when this is all said and done, but I think I'm going to post a "starting weight" picture and post my progress each week. What better way to gain motivation than by purchasing new beastmode workout gear?!

My new ClimaCool Adidas. I may or may not have purchased these because of those polka dots. 

They have bright green shoelaces and are super lightweight. I ran hills in them last night and I definitely noticed a difference.

New running shorts. I wanted tights, but I also didn't want tights. I like running in them better than shorts because shorts tend to ride. I think I'm going to purchase some tights specifically for running because I hate having distractions.

My pink sweatband :) I have skin problems, especially right now, out the wazoo...and by wazoo I mean face. Hopefully this sweatband will help keep all of my hair products off of my skin while looking stylish.  

I think Max likes having me around more, I know he got pretty lonely while I student taught so we're making up for it now. He sunbathes all day. Again, first world problems.

I've also been quite the bargain hunter lately and been able to coupon again!

I got this platter for almost free at Pier 1- I love that store! It was orignially $29.95 and I paid $2.95 for it. Winning.

I picked up this adorable bracelet from **Charming Charlie** for around $10. It's summer, almost, and I am absolutely in love with all things nautical lately.

What have you been up to?!

Cheers to Graduation

Hello, blog world. Long time no write-sorry. On Saturday, May 12th, I officially graduated from college with my Bachelor's degree. Crazy to say. So, so crazy to write. I had an amazing time before, during, and afterwards. My family and best friend came up from Oklahoma and I also had several friends here stop by to visit. The morning of graduation I hosted a small, casual brunch at my apartment. The day started out rainy and early, as Eric and I woke up at 6am to get stuff ready because graduation was at 12:30. Brunch consisted of fruit, fancy crackers and fancy cheese, muffin-sized omelettes, cupcakes, pancakes w/blueberries on a stick, tomato & mozzeralla seasoned with basil on a stick, and mimosas! yummy :) Eric and I have had leftover fruit all week...which isn't a bad thing!

Part of the food set up.

 Eric really wanted to get the fancy sausage that is next to the bananas. I guess it was popular cause there was none left!

Muffin sizzed omelettes.

Pancakes on a stick

Champagne. word :)

My grad hat that I decorared at the last minute. The "z' in the corner is for my friend, Zach. I've mentioned him before, but he passed away on the night of our high school graduation. I figured that the last time I made the walk across stage for graduation he was with me, so this time shouldn't be any different. There were only a few other people with decor on their hats. Sad, really lol.

We had TONS of flowers...and still do!

After the ceremony.

On our way to graduate!!!

I think Eric was really excited for this day-he decorated my car! So sweet :))

Eric got us a Hydrangea plant. I am obsessed with this flower!

Gifts from my on-campus boss. So thoughtful!

More flowers! I love my apartment right now.

My cake and cupcakes. Delicious!

Student Teacher Tea a few weeks ago.

Getting my Degree!

Walking across the stage!